Dear Glad Heart,

Thank you to all the souls who reached out to me about the beautiful and very sad death of my cat Jupiter on February 25, 2005. I’m grieving, of course, and riding the waves of feelings that come with it. I’m glad for this grief because it deepens me and makes me grow.

Even in the worst, raging loneliness and despair, there is growth. Of course, I am also not glad at all about the grief all the time. Sometimes I hate it, resist it, and want to run so fast and far away from it, and I think I can somehow escape. Acceptance of deep grief is part of my process. I am learning to “lean in” to the pain without dwelling there.

I just don’t think we hear enough about the gifts of death, gladness in grief, or transforming pain. Loss and change are part of all of our lives, and, as much as there is great sadness, there is also great gladness, and I intend to share both.

I’m glad that I’m sharing my grief process and not just my grief progress. There is a lot of energy that goes toward “getting over it” and “getting on with it.” Certainly that will occur, but it will happen in the spirals and layers of healing that we know so well.

To deny our grief, to try to march past it or hasten it, is to do ourselves a great spiritual disservice.

When we can let grief move through us, it can move -- instead of getting stuck, and sometimes it will get stuck! I’ve been writing about the gifts of death (G.O.D.) since my mom died and am reminded of these since Jupiter’s death. Here are a few:

1st Gift: Is that Jupiter was in my life for 16 years and bestowed such power and beauty. He “discovered” my first poster, “How To Be an Artist,” and acted as a muse for my writing.

2nd Gift: I got Jupiter after I attempted suicide in my mid-30s. I decided to keep on living partly because of him. Now I have countless reasons to live, and he helped me locate most of them!

3rd Gift: So much love and support came to both Jupiter and I during his 11-month illness and care during that time. I experienced such devotion and pure love. I also experienced myself as being able to unconditionally love and give.

I had a great dream about Jupiter about a week after he died. He was human-sized and dancing with me. I can still feel his paw in the small of my back.

It is clear to me that Jupiter is still spiritually here – I see him in all kinds of places. I think if I can just detach from his physical form, I will “have” a cat that I don’t need to feed!

There is gladness in my grief as I find myself smiling at memories of my mom and Jupiter in their physical forms. And, there is such piercing sadness in grief, too, as I learn to release these physical forms.

I am glad that life goes on in the midst of grief. About four hours after Jupiter died, I was scheduled to do a book event in San Francisco. Of course I knew that everyone would forgive me for canceling, and I went for a walk at my favorite beach to see if my grief would shift.

It appeared that Jupiter was everywhere! There were little black dogs jumping like pogo sticks, a starfish that waved at me, and a little tiny black dot of a puppy named Jujube.

I went to the event and just shared my heart, and I felt so much love reflected back.

Thank you for sharing my grief and my life. (Secret note: April 19 is my birthday)

Love, Susan
(AKA SARK, Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy)

“I’m going to the woods! Join me for three summer days at Omega, where we’ll play, paint, dance, and discover new ways to make our creative dreams REAL. This will be a nature-inspired festival of creativity.”

SARK’s 2005 Events and Book Tour Schedule

•   May 7 - West Coast Live, San Francisco, CA
•   June 10-12- Omega Institute, Rhinebeck, NY
•   July "SARK" - “SARK’s New Creative Companion” book tour
•   Nov 11-14 - Celebrate Your Life, Scottsdale, AZ

Find out more about SARK’s Ecstatic Events on PlanetSARK.com

Spring is here and SARK’s product line is blossoming. We are thrilled to introduce several new products including note and greeting cards, magnets, t-shirts, and decorative pillows.

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SARK is featured in the following publications this month:

Cheryl Richardson’s Life Makeover for the Year 2005 Newsletter "Pet Power: Knocked down by grace"

Natural Health Magazine, April Issue

 

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SARK invites you to take pleasure and inspiration from her FREE five-minute recorded message. Call 415-546-EPIC (3742) or listen online (MP3 download).

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Permission is granted to reproduce, copy or distribute this eLetter, so long as this copyright notice and full information attributing SARK are attached.